High Holy Days Journey with Amichai Lau-Lavie: 40 ways in 40 days to find your focus
I walk into an office today and the person sitting there working at the computer hurriedly pulls down shut the laptop screen and turns to me, flushed.
What was he ashamed of? What did he have on his screen?
Shame. Been there, done that, got it now.
What am I ashamed of? What shames do I carry around with me, – body, baggage, questionable behaviors, secret online sites?
Private List: 5 things I am ashamed of in life:
My list grew to 8 easy – current and ongoing patterns, old memories and i-guess-not-forgotten incidents. I’ll spare you the details. It’s private. I am somewhat ashamed of hanging out my dirty laundry – but I do plan to spend some time in the laundry room analyzing my list, learning from shame.
I am making an assumption here: that most of us, in some way, some more often than others, got laundry, deal with our own shame. The question is how do we deal with it?
Because if shame is connected to a feeling of being or doing something that for some reason we perceive as wrong – than you got to own it, feel it, be ashamed with it fully – in order to learn from it, shake it, move on, change.
Daniel Gordis wrote a strong article today about shame in Israel – and how the blame game lacks the dignity of shame even when it is due. “What about learning to live with shame that is almost unbearable? Isn’t it precisely by becoming harrowingly aware of our faults and misdeeds that we become better people?” He takes this process of shame to the collective level of denial – and necessity. http://www.jpost.com/Home/Article.aspx?id=186053
Shame list, wish list blacklist – this prepenting stuff is intense. Take a deep breath. It’s almost Sabbath.
20 min. update: it’s 9pm and hasn’t happened yet. Running next, or home aerobics.)