I’ve been biting my lips for the last two days: Gotta say something
important to someone special and don’t know if and how. It can rock
the boat. It’s my truth about what is difficult for me in our
relationship but the words are hesitant. What to say? how? when? is it
wise to get it out and try and resolve or let it go and let time
deliver the solutions?
Can we talk? It’s sometimes a terrifying question. when I get asked
this I know it will lead to a ‘serious’ conversation that my be
painful or difficult. When I ask it of others I try to sound as
disarming as possible, and smile, but sometimes it’s hard and big
issues that have to rise to the surface over-rule smiling and unwisely
over-ride taking a deep breath and trusting in the outcome and the
honesty of heart.
But there are times when the question must be asked. This period of
PREPENT is one of those times, prompting us to ask of ourselves and of
the ones in our lives and deal with the difficult places that are mute
Regardless of this PREPENT process or perhaps encouraged by it and
with more attention to the need to process I am determined to launch
one such conversation today – stop biting my lips. As part of this
week’s focus on my ‘black lists’ and the people in my life I want to
make amends with and improve our relationships – it’s gotta be done.
Gulp. Breath. Ask: Can we talk?
It could be an email (maybe a txt msg? maybe FB? not sure) and it’s
definitely better as a conversation. you know, TALK. eye to eye. 95%
of our communication is non verbal. This is esp. important at these
serious moments of conflict resolution.
And look – humor is ESSENTIAL here. Take Joan Rivers – the queen of
‘Can we talk’ – here she explains how she came up with the expression.
Can we talk?